Blessings.

There's much to be said for moms, especially moms of 2-year olds. I've realized that there is life beyond the "terrible" 2's and that of course, is the 3's. Should I be scared? Should I be anxious? Should I be relaxed? 


I think that none of the above are what I should do. What I feel led to do is to take each moment as it hits. I started this blog about a year ago to figure out life's lessons as a mom of a 2 year old. I wanted to find strength from a lot of different things. I think I made a few mistakes, but I also think that God has shown me a lot of new pathways and has armed me with my own "new" strength.


Sure, some people may think that I am strong, from what we've been through with Kendall. I can tell you, my faith is strong. I know that God has a plan for her and for all of us. I know she is a fighter and will live and love as God has planned for her.

As I begin planning for a 3rd birthday party (Thanking God we've all survived!), I'd like to think I've learned a little this past year. And some of it has been through this blog journey. Here's some of the main roads of this journey.

1. Curveballs: Life throws them frequently. Can we catch them all the time? Absolutely not. The ones that we don't catch will either fall under a weedy bush or someone else will grab them. My curveball happened with my first semester of teaching college students. I managed to grab a few "missed" shots. They hurt and were tough to catch. But I praise God for the few that got away.
2. Back in time: I'm often taken back in time and want to stay there. Some of those "back in time" moments are what some would call the rough times. For instance, I savor the peaceful feelings I had when Kendall was at MUSC undergoing open-heart surgery. Not because of what was happening, but with what God was doing in my heart and the hearts of those around me. I had the most peaceful feeling and there have been many times this past year I've had to remind myself that Kendall is an extraordinary little girl. I should look past the tantrums and be grateful I have tantrums to deal with.
3. Back to the future: So fast forward to the present and looking forward. I've often heard, begin with the end in mind. I - like most moms out there - work hard to make sure my child is the most loved and appreciated child. I can't always do this when she is screaming in the middle of Target. But, knowing the type of mother I want to be and the type of mother that I was raised by, I know that my actions are meaningful. I need to remind myself that there is an art in what I call "calm discipline."
4. Patience Revisited: Never before in my life has my patience been tried over and over. Sure, when I was searching for the person I would spend the rest of my life with, I kept hearing "Patience" ... but that word has a whole new meaning with a 2 year old. :)
   

   

   Kendall at NanNan & Grandpa Stewart's grave, May 2011

5. Full circle: As I visited the site where my grandmother (NanNan) was laid to rest nearly 6 years ago, I snapped a picture of Kendall at the site. I realized soon after, there was a picture of me, just a few years older than Kendall, taken at that exact spot, where my grandfather Stewart was buried. I realized then, that life continues to come full circle. There is a circle, and with God's grace, we will continue to make it revolve.
6. Remember those days: Ahh... remembering the days before having children? What in the world did we do with the time we had? I must have been then most unproductive person ever. Although now, I think I am still the most unproductive person, as I have baby pictures and mementos from these past 2 years still sitting in a box under my bed along with a (still in the wrapper) scrapbook and growth book. But here I sit, typing at a computer and contemplating life's mysteries through Facebook. The dust continues to settle on all those unfinished projects. I guess a few more months won't hurt.
7. Preserverence: I never thought it could be done, but I've kept up my goal to loose weight. I got a lot of momentum last year, but then the 2's happened and it just stopped. I picked it back up in January and have stuck with it, loosing nearly 20 pounds. I know there is still more to go, but I'm just happy that I've made it this far. And I can actually run more than a mile and not break a sweat (unless of course, it is middle of the afternoon in Hot-Lumbia, SC!). There's a lot of of life lesson's that can be learned in a nice jog or run, and even a Zumba workout. It's provided a ton of inspiration for me. 
8. A new day:  I've just put Kendall to bed in big-girl underwear. There's a lot more "life lesson" that I can cram in here but I think I'll just be happy with this evening. Tomorrow is a new day. We'll either have a load of sheets to wash or a bag of pull-ups that I'll have to give away. Carpe Diem. 

My blessings: my family at Easter.

I'll leave you tonight with these little takeaways, these heart2hearts that I've learned. Sure, there's a ton more. There's a lot of people who I've met this year and continue to build lasting friendships and relationships with along with the rocks I have in my life - my dear husband & family. I hold you all dear in my heart. You've helped me have faith in myself and keep me going. 

And one last thing ... as a song has recently reminded me, sometimes, the toughest times are God's greatest blessings.

... "We pray for wisdom, Your voice to hear
We cry in anger when we cannot feel You near
We doubt Your goodness, we doubt Your love
As if every promise from Your Word is not enough

And all the while You hear each desperate plea
And long that we'd have faith to believe"...

"Blessings" - Laura Story