I thinking tonight about the things God is putting in my life. I cherish the blessings that He is showing. I am trying to cherish those He isn't showing. It's tough you know ... being a full-time working mom who is wanting to serve God in all she does.
I listen and act but I fear that in my "busyness", I am not finding time to remember what is around me. I love my second semester of teaching and serving as a guide to new students at the University. Seeing them reminds me of the adventure I used to have in my teens and 20's and looking at the world with huge potential.
I'm excited to begin a new chapter in my community involvement as I continue to work with Palmetto Hearts. I think God has some big things planned for our heart families. We are all walking testimonies to the "second chances" that God gives us and even in grief, it is amazing to see God's love still shining.
I'm learning how to be a little more patient as I work with more 3 and 4 year olds in Kendall's Sunday School class. I'm seeing that she's not the only one going through sharing "challenges" (for lack of a better word!) and that despite how adorable and sweet the other children are, moms will always think their child is the MOST adorable and SWEETEST child on earth. And you know what, there's nothing wrong with that. It's a mom thing. We are made to love our child, as unconditionally as we know possible on this earth.
In learning my patience limits, I really do see Kendall as our one and only. It brings me to realize that I really do hear God's voice in that message. While He wants to keep me busy with many of life's demands, I can still hear the smallness of His word.
When things get blurry for me, I try to find something that gives me some clarity. So, I decided to take a little time on a busy Sunday afternoon to watch a movie (a REAL movie, not animated and no princess crowns!) with Kendall. It's called Letters to God. I knew it would be a tearjerker and it completely lived up to that standard. I had an idea of the storyline and I had read a lot about the movie. I'm not quite sure why I decided that Sunday afternoon was the time and place for it, but again, I'm not always in control am I? :)
Well it was in the middle of the movie (and surprisingly Kendall was sitting on the couch with me ... being STILL!), when Kendall asked me, "Where is God Mommy?". Thus began a conversation that still is on my heart.
- Me: "Well sweetie, God is wherever we want Him to be. He can be in our hearts if we want. That's where He wants to be."
- Kendall: "Is Jesus there?"
- Me: "Jesus likes to be near his daddy. Just like you like to be near your mommy and daddy. So, I guess Jesus can be there too."
- Kendall: "So God and Jesus are in my heart?"
- Me: "If you want them there, then yes."
- Kendall: "Well I do. Where do they live now?"
- Me: "They live in their home, in a place called Heaven. It's perfect up there."
- Kendall: "I want to go."
- Me: "I want to go too sweetie, but we'll stay here for a while, okay?"
- Kendall: "Okay mommy. Was God and Jesus in my heart during my surgery?" (She has recently started asking a lot about her surgery..)
- Me: "Yes they were."
- Kendall: "And you prayed for me?"
- Me: "Yes. Many many many people did. You were a miracle. God loved you and He healed you."
- Kendall: "Okay mommy. Thank you for praying."
As tears swelled in my eyes and my heart leapt a few million times, she then jumped off the couch and started playing with Barbie and Ken again.
As I sat there in complete shock of the conversation that had just happened, I felt truly numb. What had just happened? She's always curious about her heart surgery and has recently been asking about people praying. The enormity of all this washed over me and I pushed it aside for a little while. Until tonight, when my vision cleared a little and I am able to see a little better perhaps what to make of it.
I realize just how busy we can all become in our day to day without stopping to think about just how simple living can be. It can be as simple as knowing that God lives in us. That Jesus is very much like us and wants to be near his Father. That we should all live with happiness in our hearts. It is childlike faith for which we should aim.
I think about that conversation now. A few hours ago, there were so many "things" going on and how the details seemed so stressful. Now, I think about the time I have with my family. My heart2heart, forget the details, for now. "Take a little time for God" ... as so beautifully sung below.
