Big girl and all that goes with it.

So most of this morning was a blur. What I do remember clearly is Kendall screaming "I WANT TO DO IT"... or my favorite, "GO AWAY. I CAN DO THIS ALL BY MYSELF!"

Yes, the life of a very independent and defiant 3-year old. Of course, for the most part, the cute, self-reliant and outgoing Kendall that we know and love is there and hasn't left. But what does take over many hours of the day is the tough 3-year old that she is becoming.

And as tough as it is at the "heat of the moment", I wouldn't trade it for the world!

Kendall "approves" of her new bed!

Our new reading routine without the rocker.

Fast forward to taking her toddler bed out of her room and the rocking chair. Add Kendall's drama with my own emotional breakdown and it was a total mommy-break down kind of day.

The cherished memories of her "toddler" room are still with me and I'm happy to say that the bed and rocker are in a very special home tonight with a very special family. That I have no regrets. But, putting her twin-size bed together and moving furniture around in this room that used to comfort our "baby", got to me tonight.

As I piled up her stuffed animals, I realized that the first day of kindergarten...1st grade...middle school...high school... college...and even perhaps marriage and grandchildren ... I'm going to be Kleenex beloved customer. For all the moms (and dads!) out there who've already been there or getting ready for that, I don't know how you managed to get through those times!

Each time we make a big step with Kendall, I get so excited. But those memories of what was still linger. Though we had a bit of a tough road her first few months of life, I still feel very strongly about those precious times as a young family.

But we're getting into big-girl land. There's still a lot more to look forward to. But my heart2heart tonight is this... We must hold tight to where we've been, but keep looking forward to the road ahead.

As I kissed Kendall tonight in her big-girl bed, I held the tears back. I lingered a little longer and gave her one more I love you ... and then walked from her room. As I shut the door, I lingered. But I knew she was ready. And if she is, so am I. To the second half of the "3's" ... bring it on. It may not be easy, but the  journey will be worth it.

End of toddler? Not quite.

We kissed Kendall good night tonight just like any other night. I read her favorite bedtime stories in our chair and sang and put her in her bed. We did our usual night nights, kisses, hugs and even squeaks (we squeak like little night time mice). But as I walked out her door and closed it behind me, I couldn't help but think of that same feeling a year and a half ago.

One of the first posts I did for Heart2Heart was a milestone - from the crib to the toddler bed. It was exciting and sad at the same time. You all followed with me those emotions and maybe even a few tears as we bid adieu to the "baby" era. Tomorrow, Kendall will wake up in her toddler bed. But tomorrow night, she will (likely?) go to bed in a big girl twin bed.

And not just ANY big girl twin bed either. This bed set was given to us by my grandparents. This was the twin bed I would sleep in when we would come down to Columbia and one that I cherished. MeMe would lay in bed with me and tell me the longest bedtime stories and sing to me until I was asleep. In fact, I think she sang so long that I never heard her finish stories or songs! Those are precious memories to me.

So, the bed comes with some special times and I pray we'll have even more.

Is this the end of our toddler phase? Very likely not (judging by recent behaviors!) but this certainly will be the end of an era. Will there be tears? Likely. Sad, happy, scared, excitement? Likely.

And Kerry & Jesse, if you're reading this, my special heart2heart is for you ... we wish you good night, sweet dreams and lots of special mommy-son moments to come.